All Bottled Up
by PyroNeko
Summary: Mix a soon to be love struck pair, one meddling God of Death and a little craziness in a strange bottle and what do you get? Pure fun! Current pairings: Heero x Relena & Duo x Hilde
1. The Beginning

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing I know I never will. So I write to pacify myself 'cause I have time to kill.

Author's Note: This story is AU, and the characters are slightly OOC, just because I can. ;) However I promise it's not hurting them in the least! You'll see mainly only 1xR and 2xH, but I'll probably bring in other characters later in the story.

**All Bottled Up**

By: PyroNeko

"Remind me what we're doing here again?" Heero asked in a bored monotone.

The bustle of the crowd drowned out his words so that his shopping partner never heard him. He frowned. How he ever let himself get talked into this he had absolutely no idea, but he was definitely regretting it.

"Oh!"

He jumped and whirled around. "What?! What is it?! Are you ok?"

Relena looked at him strangely. "Of course I'm ok. Look at this beautiful bottle! The decorations are so intricate."

A bottle? All of this fuss over a fancy bottle? He cocked his head; he was rather drawn to it though. It was a bit more than he could comprehend. He shrugged slightly, his boredom advancing rapidly with dismal persistence.

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"What do you think? Isn't it exquisite?"

Heero nearly groaned aloud. "If you say so. I'm sure it's very nice."

Relena peered closely into his face. "If I didn't know any better I'd say you were somewhere else right now." She accused.

'Boy I wish', he thought.

Exasperated she looked away and back to the small vessel she held. She sighed and placed it gently back on the venders' table, then began to move towards another display.

'Ah, we're moving again.' Heero thought with relief and began to follow. Suddenly he felt a hand close around his arm and his momentum practically swung him around before he had a chance to react. He latched on to whoever had grabbed him and was in the process of rendering them useless when a long braid nearly put out an eye as he frantically dodged. His attacker grunted, then coughed.

"Duo!" Heero released his best friend and shook his head. "Serves you right. You shouldn't sneak up on people like that and grab them from behind."

Duo looked up from his place on the ground where Heero had so unceremoniously dumped him. "Ow!" He yelped as he tried to move his head only to find that he was sitting on his braid. Heero couldn't help himself and began to chuckle. He tried to turn it into a cough behind his fist but it was too late.

"Ha! Look at that! I saw it, you laughed!" Duo grinned; it was worth the pain to see his normally stoic friend openly enjoying himself. Moving more carefully he extracted his braid from under his posterior and looked up again. Heero offered him his hand and pulled him to his feet, his face now perfectly schooled to an emotionless mask. Duo shook his head. 'It never lasts for long' he thought.

"So what are you doing here anyway? I didn't know you liked flea markets…"

"I don't. I'm here with Relena."

"Oh I see." Duo said in a knowing voice.

"What are YOU doing here?" Heero pushed, trying to get the conversation off of himself.

"I'm here with Hilde. You think I'd come alone?"

Heero shrugged. "With you I never know."

"And I plan to keep it that way too."

Heero just ignored him and looked around for Relena. He spotted her about two venders down. He couldn't believe she hadn't missed him yet. Not that he cared he told himself. 'Yeah right' his inner self interjected. He ignored it best as he could and turned back as Duo began to speak.

"Well? Aren't you gonna get it?"

"Huh?" Heero was clueless. "Get what? You don't make any sense at all."

Duo rolled his eyes. The guy was hopeless.

"The bottle. The one she liked. Aren't you gonna buy it for her?"

"What? How did you know about that? Were you shadowing us or something?" He frowned.

"Of course not!" Duo was affronted. "We were just nearby that's all. Speaking of we…"

His voice trailed off as he craned his neck around to find his other half. He spotted her arguing animatedly with a merchant not far from their position.

Heero's eyes followed his gaze and picked out Hilde. It wasn't hard. "I feel sorry for that merchant. He's going to lose some money today."

"Hey!! What are you implying?!" Duo crossed his arms over his chest.

"Nothing at all."

The braided man shook his head.

"Forget it. So are you going to buy the bottle?"

"Why?"

"Oh come on Heero, she liked it. It was obviously a hint, she wants you to get it for her."

"And how do you know so much?" Heero mirrored Duo by crossing his arms as well.

Duo sidled closer. "You my friend are talking to the one and only walking, talking, love encyclopedia." He said in a low voice directly into Heero's ear. Heero jumped away from him accidentally jostling another shopper.

"Hey watch it man!"

"Sorry." Heero mumbled. Then to Duo: "Please don't do that again. I might have to hurt you."

Duo didn't look worried. "Well???"

"When you're a walking love encyclopedia I'll be a talking cat!" He exclaimed, exasperated at best and completely un-amused.

"Aw wouldn't that be cute. Meow." Duo taunted.

"I'm warning you."

"Neh" Duo waved his hand airily. "You still don't scare me. Just hurry up and buy the bottle already, I wanna get back to Hilde."

"Go right ahead, nothing's stopping you."

"Ah, but that is where you'd be wrong. I'd be doing you a great disservice if I were to leave now, my mission incomplete."

"And that mission is?" Heero was afraid he knew already however.

"The final, complete intertwining of the lives of two of my closest friends." Duo answered ever so eloquently.

Heero blinked. "In other words you're trying to marry us off."

Duo nodded. "That's about it."

"I have two words for you."

"What's that?"

"Dream. On."

"Hey you can't fault a guy for trying." Heero glared at him. "Ok maybe you can."

Heero turned and walked back to the booth where the bottle had been sitting. It was gone. He pursed his lips in annoyance.

"You mean you were actually gonna do it? Tsk, tsk, too bad it's gone. Snooze you lose." His friend razzed.

"You're really pushing it today Maxwell, don't you have someone else to make miserable?"

"DUO!!!" He whirled around in the direction off the voice. "Uh oh. Well there's your answer I guess."

"I think your leash is being jerked."

"Ouch, that's harsh." Heero shrugged.

"Excuse me sirs."

Both turned at the voice.

"You," said the merchant. "The one with the messy hair." He pulled out the ornate bottle from underneath the booth and held it up. "I held on to it, figured you might be back sooner or later to pick it up for your girl."

Heero ignored the messy hair comment and obediently made the purchase, promising to come back and get it before he left so she wouldn't know he had it. When he turned around Duo was still there.

"What are you still doing here?"

"Just had to make sure you did it that's all."

"DUUUOOOO!!!" People were beginning to turn and stare. He jumped. "Looks like that's my cue!" He yelled, waving as he ran off.

Heero shook his head. Those two were unusual to say the least. He looked up to see Relena searching the crowd for him, a worried look on her lovely face. 'Time to go' he thought, and moved quickly in her direction.

"What happened?" She asked when he reached her.

"I was waylaid by a braided lunatic."

"Oh, you saw Duo and Hilde?" She chose to ignore his little barb. She knew he didn't mean it. "Too bad I missed them."

"If you say so."

Relena sighed. Would he never change?

"I guess I'm ready to go when you are." She surprised him.

"Really? Uh…Ok." He was rapidly trying to figure out how he was going to get the bottle for her when she neatly solved his problem for him.

"I just have to visit the ladies room and I'll be right back."

"Alright, I'll meet you by the entrance."

She smiled, turned, and swept off through the crowd. He watched her as she left remembering Duo's words. He abruptly shook his head as if to shake off the thoughts and made his way quickly to the booth to pick up his purchase.

On his way to the front he debated giving it to her right away then thought about Duo and his love encyclopedia. It wouldn't exactly be romantic that way. Wait a minute! He didn't want to be romantic! Did he? A frown appeared on his face. He felt like his head was in a meat grinder! After a few minutes of mental ping-pong he decided to wait. He hoped he was right.

They drove in silence on the way back, neither seemed to want to break it. They were nearly to Relena's house when Heero finally got up the nerve to speak

"I don't have anything planned for Wed. night, want to go to dinner?" He said in a rush.

Relena sat still in total shock. Was the man asking her out on a date? She composed herself as quickly as she could and glanced his way. His rock hard profile told her nothing. "Sure" she answered. 'Like I would refuse', she thought with a small smile.

"I'll pick you up at 6:30." He blinked. "If that's ok with you."

"Sure" she repeated. Still stunned.

Heero was on cloud nine! She had actually said yes! They were going on a date! It was all he could do not to let loose a war whoop right there in the car! He glanced over at her and almost grinned. Her surprise had been rather amusing. He should have thought of this sooner.

* * *

Well there it is folks, the first chapter. Let me know what you think, constructive flames only please! :)


	2. The Date

Thanks for the kind reviews everyone, here's the second chapter! Enjoy! :)

The time to pick up Relena came too quickly for Heero, yet not quickly enough. He looked forward to seeing her, yet wondered what he would do when he did. He tugged at his tie and frowned down at his stomach where he was sure all the butterflies in the world had suddenly decided to have an energetic convention. He shook his head. He was as nervous as a cat on a doghouse in the middle of a crowded dog kennel! He headed for the door then frantically turned around and raced back into the bedroom, snatching a certain package off his dresser and making his way back to the front door. Finally he was in the car and on his way. 'I hope she likes where I'm taking her' he thought as he drove up.

He made his way to the door and knocked softly, half hoping she wouldn't hear, and yet again hoping she would. 'This is ridiculous!' He decided, and was about to rap much harder on the door when it opened to reveal…he blinked. An angel. She was gorgeous. Breathtaking. He couldn't remember the last time he'd seen her looking so vibrant and beautiful. Not saying that she wasn't beautiful all the time but this….his brain became a blank page and he opened his mouth to say something, anything, but nothing came out.

Relena's smile wobbled a bit and Heero was jerked back to his senses. That was it, he would say it no matter what.

"You look radiant, v…very beautiful Relena." He stuttered. He couldn't believe he'd just done that. What an idiot. The object of his praise didn't seem to think so though and she blushed a tantalizing shade of pink and looked down, murmuring a thank you.

"Here." Embarrassed as well, he pulled his hand from behind his back to reveal the bouquet of tulips he had bought for her.

Her face lit up and she smiled again as she accepted the flowers. He felt his stomach jump in response. 'What is happening to me?' He wondered frantically.

"Thank you Heero, these are lovely. Let me go put them in water and I'll be ready to go." She turned and hurried back into the house. Just as soon as her back was turned to him she began to grin and her heart kept accelerating it's fluttering pace. It was hard to believe this was the same unwilling man she had somehow managed to drag to the flea market the other day. What had happened? Had Duo said something? She would have to thank him the next time she saw him. Soon the flowers were situated and she was on her way back to her escort. She turned her smile down a couple hundred watts; she didn't want him to think she was too eager. Somehow she managed to walk sedately down the steps and into the car. Not much was said on the way there, neither seemed to know what to say.

Relena's eyes widened when they pulled into the entryway of their destination. She wasn't sure what she had expected, but it certainly wasn't this! Heero looked over at her and noticed the surprised pleasure on her face and smiled to himself inside. He'd made the right choice after all. To his relief, a few of his butterflies decided to go home and leave the partying to the ones with more stamina. He pulled smoothly up to the front entrance and got out, walking over to Relena's side and opening the door for her. She smiled her thank you, and soon they were on their way inside, the valet dispatched to park their vehicle. Heero offered her his arm, and she took it as they entered the grand building. They were quickly shown to their table inside a small partially enclosed, candlelit area. Relena was suitably impressed. She wondered how he had managed to get reservations at the Royal Yverlen Castle on such a short notice.

Suddenly realizing they had been left alone with their menus for the time being, again neither was quite sure of what to say. She looked up to find his gaze on her face. Their eyes snagged and locked. What did he see, she wondered. 'What is she looking for?' Heero thought. The waiter with a query of what they would like to drink interrupted their respective thoughts.

"Just tea please." Heero answered, with a look at Relena to make sure she agreed.

The man nodded and was soon gone leaving them alone again.

Heero surreptitiously wiped cold sweaty hands on his trousers. 'Should he give it to her now? No', he decided, 'I will wait until after the meal is over.'

"So...why did you ask me to come here tonight?" Relena blurted, never one to shirk a subject. She could have kicked herself. It sounded like she was mad at him! She considered herself quite diplomatic most of the time, what had gotten into her?

He stared, nonplussed. "I…ah…" He stammered, not quite sure what to say in answer to her bold query.

Relena almost smiled. He had done that twice today and she had to admit she liked it. It meant he was as new to this as she was.

"I'm sorry," she apologized. "I should not have put you on the spot like that." She looked down. "Besides I could have said it a little more…delicately."

Shaking his head Heero assured her that it was all right. By then sufficiently recovered, he contemplated her question.

She decided to try and help him out. "Was it Duo and Hilde? Did they put the pinch on you to do this?"

Heero's eyes jerked up to meet hers. "No!" He exclaimed forcefully. Relena jumped. Heero suddenly remembered where he was and lowered his voice. "No, not at all. I guess I…well I thought that…well, we don't do too much together and…well I know we were just at the flea market but…I mean…that's different…Um…" he dropped his head into his hands. "Aw hell." He muttered quietly. "I just wanted to go on a date with you." 'There,' he thought, 'I said it. Oh man, what is she going to think?'

She reached across the table and laid a soft hand on his arm. "It was a wonderful idea Heero thank you."

He looked up as she leaned forward. "Just for the record, I feel the same way."

He stared. Then corner of his lip seemed to take on a mind of it's own as it started to curl upwards in what was shaping up to be a beautiful smile; albeit crooked, but Relena didn't care. It was a smile, and from Heero it was pure heaven. He reached for her hand and clasped it in his almost without thinking. Just then the waiter arrived to see if they were ready to order and the moment was lost. He jerked his hand away from hers and picked up his menu to hide his blushing face. Relena did something close to the same and murmured that they weren't quite ready to order yet. The man nodded and left and soon they were quasi-alone again. Finally it was Heero who broke the embarrassed silence.

"This looks pretty good." He said, pointing to the featured dish on the menu insert.

She glanced at what he was pointing at and agreed. The waiter must have had some sort of sixth sense because he appeared again just at that exact time and they proceeded to order. After the waiter left neither seemed to know just what to say so silence again reigned supreme. Just as the quiet was about to become unbearable Relena opened her mouth to say something, anything, only to find out Heero had the same idea.

"What did..." She stopped embarrassed.

"How did..." He stopped as well and looked away.

Both looked back at each other and said "Sorry." at the same time then grinned.

"You first." Offered Heero.

"No, go ahead." Relena shook her head.

"I insist."

"Well if you insist." She laughed softly. "You mentioned you saw Duo other day, did he have anything intelligent to say?" She grinned. "I mean, did he say anything interesting?"

Heero let a small smile shape his lips at Relena's freudian slip. "No, nothing important. Just being his wonderful, annoying, albeit henpecked self."

"Now now, is that any way to talk about my good friend Hilde?" Relena pretended to frown at her dinner partner.

He blinked and suddenly was apologizing. He didn't want anything to mar this wonderful occasion.

"Heero!"

He stopped mid-sentance and looked questioningly at her.

"It's ok, you don't have to apologize, I was just teasing you. I love Hilde, I really do, she's my closest friend. However..." She shrugged with an air of chagrin. Hilde was Hilde, no doubt about it. Yes, it was true she did seem to..henpeck as Heero so aptly described. She was certain though that this was one part of the date she wouldn't relay to her best friend. She smiled inwardly at that thought.

"Earth to Relena. It's Heero, your date. Remember me?"

She jumped slightly and smiled half-guiltily, immediately dismayed by her lack of attention. "Oh Heero I'm so sorry, I was just thinking of Hilde..."

"Well that's ok just as long as you come back to me every once in a while." Heero teasted.

'I don't believe it!' She thought to herself. 'Heero just joked with me...he's acting so relaxed, so...normal. What's gotten into this guy?' Well whatever it was she wasn't about to complain. "I'm back." She grinned deciding to reflect his playful mood. "Miss me?"

"Always." Heero answered looking deep into her eyes. She was taken aback at his abrupt change of mood. 'He's serious'. She thought with no little surprise. She looked back into his eyes with a seriousness that he hadn't really expected to receive back from her. Just then their food came and relieved, both turned their attention to their plates.

All was relatively silent again until Relena broke it with "what was it that you wanted to say earlier? You let me go first...what was it you wanted to say?"

Heero almost jumped at the sound of her voice. "Oh....um..." He couldn't believe he'd forgotten already! Then it came to him. "I was going to ask how your week is going." In saying that suddenly he remembered his gift, and told himself he'd better remember to give it to her…

"Heero?" She asked, looking closely at him. "Are you alright?"

"Uh, me?" He stammered. "Sure, sure I'm fine. Sorry, I was just thinking."

"Oh ok, well don't think too hard." She smiled.

"Ok."

"My week is going well, thank you. The middle of the week however, definitely takes first place though." She smiled at the look of surprise and pleasure on his face at her statement.

"I..I'm glad." He stammered, kicking himself for seeming to do that lately around her.

Seeming to have run out of things to say again both returned to their forgottem food and finished their meal in relative silence.

When all was taken care of and they were ready to leave he thought about giving her the gift but decided he'd rather do it more privately, so they soon left. Once they were the car he drove to a well lit park and turned off the engine. Reaching back behind his seat his hand felt the package and pulled it out. Relena, who had been wondering what was going on took the package with a puzzled look on her face.

"Here, it's for you." He said glancing into her eyes then quickly looking away.

"Oh Heero, you didn't have to get me anything!" She exclaimed, wondering what on earth it could be.

"Open it and find out." He mumbled, seeming almost to read her mind.

She grinned and quickly unwrapped the package. She gasped. "Oh! It's the bottle from the flea market!" She beamed at him. "I love it, thank you so much!"

He blushed again. "You're welcome." He answered, braving looking her in the eye and gave her another small smile. "I'm glad you like it."

"I love it Heero, thank you." She wanted to thank him in a slightly more physical way but she wasn't sure how he would respond to something like that so she left it as purely wishful thinking.

After that, somehow things went a bit smoother and they began to talk. Just about anything, and nothing, and everything. All too soon it seemed, the time was late and he took her back to her house. He opened the car door for her and followed her to her front door to make sure she was alright, and because he really wanted to kiss her goodnight but didn't know if he could find the courage to do so.

Finally she had the door open and had stepped inside and turned around.

"Heero, thank you so much for tonight. I had a wonderful time." She smiled.

"I…so did I. I…" he stammered "I hope we can do it again soon."

"Me too."

He was mentally kicking himself, calling himself all sorts of names trying to find the courage to kiss her. She looked straight into his eyes and suddenly he found his courage. He stepped closer, placing his hands on her shoulders and leaning forward slowly, giving her a chance to back away. She wasn't about to do any such thing. She leaned forward ever so slightly and allowed her eyes to drift closed. Heero closed his eyes as his lips touched hers. It wasn't an extremely passionate kiss; just really a soft pressing of the lips together, but it was enough to make both of them a little weak in the knees and cause both hearts to beat faster. Slightly shakily Heero allowed his hands to slide off her shoulders and drop. He almost jumped when he felt Relena capture his hands within hers. He looked down at their clasped hands.

"Heero." She murmured softly.

His head jerked back up and he dared again to look into her striking blue eyes. He opened his mouth to say something, he wasn't quite sure what.

"Relena." He mentally slapped himself for numbly saying her name when there were so many things he could be saying. He needed to go…Go before he fell under her spell completely and never left.

"I…Goodnight Relena."

She smiled. "Goodnight Heero." She slowly released his hands as he backed up slightly pulling away. He nearly growled in annoyance when he could no longer feel the warmth of her hands nestled in his. Somehow he managed to find his way back to his vehicle without tripping over his own feet (or anything else) and drove away slowly, not wanting to lose sight of her. He sighed. It had been a wonderful evening. Then suddenly it hit him. "I kissed her" he gasped! Then laughed, giddy with the thought and memory. He could just hear Duo saying, "it's about time buddy!". So it was…So it was. He grinned again and then laughed. He needed to tell someone or he was going to burst! Duo was the natural choice so he altered his course and headed for Duo and Hilde's residence, never mind the fact that it was just a little past the respectable hour for going visiting.

Relena stood there for another minute or two after the car was out of sight. She couldn't believe it. Heero had kissed her. She started grinning and spun around bouncing a little on her tiptoes as she danced into the house. She had to tell somebody…Who…Hilde! Who else? She ran to the phone.

"Hello..." Hilde yawned into the receiver thankful she'd had the presence of mind to turn off the video function of the phone. She didn't really want whoever it was to see her in her current attire. She blushed slightly at the thought.

"Hilde…. hi, it's me Relena."

"Relena?!" Hilde was about to be irked, and then she remembered. "Your date! How did it go?" She heard a small excited giggle in the background. "So that's how it was huh?" She laughed.

"Oh Hilde it was perfect! Just wonderful! He was a perfect gentleman, and he took me to the Royal Yverlen Castle!! He…" Hilde cut her off.

"You're kidding!" She gasped. "I didn't know he had that much taste!"

"I know! I didn't know where we would go but…I wasn't expecting that! Anyway, we went to this cozy little alcove that was very romantic with low lighting, candles, the works! It was beautiful!" She stopped for a breath allowing her friend to speak.

"Wow. Sounds pretty amazing. I wonder why Duo hasn't ever taken me there." She rolled her eyes. "Oh yeah, he's a cheapskate. That's why."

"You should ask him to take you there."

"That'll be the day." Hilde laughed.

"Oh! I almost forgot! Heero gave me a gift. Actually…" she giggled, "he gave me more than one…"

"Oh REALLY?!" Hilde was definitely interested now, as if she hadn't been before.

"Uh huh. Well the first one was this pretty vase that I had admired at the flea market last time we were there."

"Oh I heard about that." Hilde said without thinking.

"What? How…?"

"Um…only that Duo said something about it to me…sorry I…he said he had encouraged Heero to buy it since it looked like you were interested in it." She stammered. "I thought it was kinda sweet…"

Relena smiled. "I'll remember to thank Duo when I see him next."

"So, what was the second gift?" Hilde pressed.

"Well…" she paused. She couldn't keep the grin off her face even though she knew her friend on the other end of the line couldn't see her. "He kissed me!" She burst out. "He really kissed me!"

"No way!" Hilde gasped! "He actually kissed you? Well? Tell, tell!!" She demanded.

"It was…" she paused. "Magical. That's what it was. Magical. It wasn't a real sizzler," she blushed, "but, well…my knees got a little week, and my stomach was taking flying lessons from the butterflies." Those butterflies were happily zooming around in her stomach again just remembering.

Hilde threw back her head and laughed. "Flying lessons huh? That's a good one Relena!" She sobered up. "It sounds perfect you know. Thanks for telling me. Sounds like you had a great evening."

"I did, I really did."

Just then there game an urgent knock on the front door. "What?" Hilde frowned.

"What's wrong?" Relena asked.

"Someone's at the door. What would someone be doing here at this hour anyway?" She ranted. "Hold on a sec." She stabbed the "mute" button. "DUUOOO!!! Get out of bed! There's someone at the door!" She waited a few seconds, but with no response. "DUUUOOOO!!!!! I'm on the phone, I can't answer the door!" The late hour knocker continued to knock, harder. She was about to march into the bedroom and drag him out of bed herself when he came stumbling into the kitchen yawning and rubbing his eyes. Blinking sleepily he mumbled about loudmouth wives.

"Don't insult me, there's someone at the door and I'm on the phone, will you PLEASE take care of it?!"

"At this hour?" Duo muttered as he dragged himself towards the front door. He was not destined to make it there uninterrupted however. He was halfway through the living room when one shuffling foot slid under a rug and very quickly he found himself not-so-tenderly kissing the ground under where his feet would have been had he actually managed to make it all of the way across the room. "Umph!" He whuffed as the air in his lungs took a temporary vacation.

"Duo?" Hilde reached as far as she could while holding the phone, trying to see what had happened. "Are you ok?" She pushed the mute button again. "Relena, I need to set the phone down for a minute ok? I'll be right back."

"I can just go…"

"No, that's ok. Just hold on." Relena agreed and Hilde put down the phone and walked into the living room flipping on the light.

"Duo…Why are you on the floor? Are you ok?" She asked bending over him.

He rolled over. "I'm on the floor because that evil rug grabbed me." He moaned. Hilde rolled her eyes. Their uninvited guest again banged on the door, indicating that whoever it was, was getting a tad bit impatient.

"Who would be crazy enough come over at this hour?" Hilde hissed.

"I don't know, but whoever it is they'll wish they'd never met the God of Death!" Duo growled loudly, as he lurched up off the floor and staggered towards the door. He grabbed the doorknob and quickly unlocked it, flipping on the porch light and jerking open the door, ready to thrash whoever had dared to interrupt his otherwise calm slumber.

"Heero!!!" He gaped. He blinked. "It's you right?" He wasn't completely sure having never seen him quite that slicked up.

"I think it is." Heero said with raised eyebrows. "The question I have is who are you, and what did you do with the God of Death?"

Duo sagged against the doorframe and sighed. "Contrary to what you might have heard a moment ago the God of Death is snoring happily in blissful slumber where EVERYONE should be at this hour of the night." He grunted.

"Then who are…" Heero just stared. The person before him had extremely long flowing loose hair, slightly tangled here and there, bloodshot eyes, and wearing nothing but…Hello Kitty underwear?!?!?!?!?! He choked back a shout of laughter and it came out in more of a hard snort, silently vowing never to come to the Maxwell house at such a late hour again. He spluttered for a second then regained a small portion of his brainpower (and willpower).

Duo frowned. "I'm the man rugs hate and women yell at."

Heero shook his head and tried to look anywhere but at Duo.

"Uh…well how about I just come back tomorrow?" He asked, staring at the number on the house.

"No, no it's ok you can co……" Duo happened at the point to look down at himself. "Oh no…." His face flushed a deep reddish purple and he grabbed his hair and brought it in front of himself. "Please tell me you didn't see that." He begged as he attempted to look Heero in the face. Heero cleared his throat. "You did, didn't you?" He moaned. "My life is over."

"If only it were that easy." Heero grinned. "I'm going now. I've…seen enough." He coughed, and said as he turned around to leave: "Goodnight Pussyca…er…Duo."

"I hate you." Duo blushed even deeper, if that was possible.

"I know." Heero chuckled as he walked away. He wondered if he would ever be able to see Duo the same way after tonight. There really was something to the saying of imagining your enemy in his underwear, but they never said anything about what to do after seeing a friend in Hello Kitty underwear. He groaned as he climbed into the car, started it and drove off. "I'm gonna kill him." He thought dourly. "I really am."

Hilde just stood there, mortified, completely forgetting the fact that she had a friend waiting not-so-patiently on the phone. At least she had been behind the doorframe to the side so he hadn't seen her. Duo closed the door with a harder-than-usual click and walked slowly towards the bedroom as if he was walking on eggshells. Hilde couldn't take it anymore and burst out laughing with a great guffaw that even Relena could hear. She tried to stop laughing, but the more she tried the more she saw the look on Heero's face when he realized what Duo was wearing, and then the look on Duo's when he'd come to the same realization.

"Hey, Hyena! Weren't you on the phone?" She spluttered and swallowed a couple more chuckles and then tried to regain her breath as she straightened up and walked into the kitchen ignoring the snide remark made by her mortified male counterpart.

"I'm sorry Relena, I really am." She gave another undignified snort of laughter, unable to help herself.

"What happened?!" Relena demanded. "Why were you laughing so hard? Who was at the door?"

"Heero came over to talk to Duo." She explained. "Duo wasn't exactly dressed for company. That's all you'll ever want to know, trust me."

"He was wearing his Hello Kitty underwear right?" Relena started to grin.

"HOW did you know about THAT?!" Hilde almost screeched.

"You should never get drunk Hilde…alcohol destroys your power to keep secrets." Relena told her almost gleefully.

Hilde groaned. "You can never let Duo know that you know ok? He'd never be able to live it down."

"And you think he'll live this one down?" Relena laughed.

"He may. He might. Well…I hope he will anyway. Then again…maybe I don't!" She grinned and began to laugh again.

"I'm going to let you go Hilde ok? I'll talk to you later."

"Ok, sleep well. If you can that is."

"I'll try. You to. Meow."

"Shut up!"

Relena laughed and said "goodnight" ending the conversation before anything else happened.

Hilde slammed down the phone and glared at it. She didn't glare long. Meow…she grinned an evil smile, eyeing the bedroom door like a predator eyeing her prey. Perhaps tonight wouldn't be a complete loss after all.

* * *

I hope you're having as much fun reading this as I'm having writing it! If you like it let me know!! See you in the next chapter!


	3. The Transformation

At long last folks, I'm finally giving you the third chapter, enjoy! Please read and review! Thanks!

* * *

During the next few days Heero kept his distance despite having wanted to tell Duo about his date with Relena. He had ended up catching Trowa, (who was at that time rather conveniently in town with the circus) and telling him. He felt a little guilty for not telling his best friend, but he was having a really hard time thinking of Duo without seeing a mental image of him in those ridiculous underwear…Inevitably however, he was destined to have to meet up with him sooner or later and it came in the form of Hilde inviting Relena and he to dinner that Sunday. He wanted to decline but Relena seemed excited so he would try his best to suffer through it he told himself.

He picked up Relena at the designated time and they made small talk during the short drive to the Maxwell residence, attention only slightly diverted by their own individual thoughts about their last encounter with their friends. Soon they were at the front door and being welcomed in by a thankfully completely dressed Duo. Heero still couldn't look him in the eye, and Duo was blushing lightly again remembering the other night. Things were rather awkward until about three quarters of the way through the meal when the spiked wine started to take effect. It seemed Heero and Duo were drinking a tad bit more than they should have been and since things were so uptight the women thought it necessary to loosen things up a bit. Hilde however, did not imbibe much. She had no idea what other secrets she might tell if she did. Relena simply didn't drink much period. By the end of the meal the men were quite relaxed and toddled into the living room to finish off their drinks and chat while the women cleaned up.

"Do you think it was a good idea to let them get drunk?" Relena asked worriedly.

"Of course, they'll be fine. You will have to drive Heero home however." Hilde laughed.

"He might not let me you know."

"Don't worry about it. We're women, we can handle anything!" Hilde made an "Atlas" pose and Relena grinned and rolled her eyes.

"Oh, I brought that bottle Heero gave me" she remembered, "want to see it?"

"Sure!"

"I'll go get it, be right back!" Relena dashed out of the house and returned promptly with the bottle in hand.

"That IS pretty!" Hilde exclaimed.

"I know. Now, aren't you jealous?" She teased.

Hilde rolled her eyes and Relena laughed.

"Let's see how the men are doing." Hilde motioned for Relena to follow. Upon entering the living room they saw both men sitting on the couch and chair just staring at their drinks in silence.

"Well I guess we can leave them alone." Relena grinned. "They don't seem to need us." Hilde agreed, Relena set the bottle down on the coffee table and they left the room. Not long after they had left, an inebriated Duo grabbed up the wine bottle, uncorked it and poured some into Heero's glass and then his. Heero began to drink his and Duo decided his vision was going kind of funny because the wine bottle didn't look right, so he just poured in a very small portion. Maybe he'd had too much to drink…'better make this the last one' he thought and carefully set the bottle down and downed the drink in one gulp.

"Damn!" Coughing hard, Heero was now completely sober. "That was horrible!"

"You said it!" Duo did the same, his eyes watering a little with the awful taste.

"What was that?" He asked looking down at the table. He was horrified to see the bottle that he had prompted Heero to get for Relena sitting opened on the table next to the wine bottle.

"You didn't." Heero moaned.

"I think I did." Duo winced.

"I am going to kill you; slowly and painfully." Heero threatened with a menacing look on his face and walked slowly towards his friend intending to do him serious bodily harm.

Back in the kitchen Relena and Hilde heard the men talking and decided they'd better find out what was going on. In their wildest dreams they would never have been prepared for what they were about to witness.

Heero sped up and leaped into the air to tackle Duo and down they went. Heero felt funny as he flew through the air, much lighter and a bit confused. 'Must be the alcohol' he thought. Well at least he'd be landing on Duo, so it wouldn't exactly hurt and besides cats always land on their feet right? 'Wait a minute…cats? Where did that come from?' He landed lightly on his feet…on Duo's chest. He stared down at the buttons on the shirt below him. They were awful close. Suddenly screams blasted his sensitive eardrums and he hissed, switching back his ears and jumped off Duo's chest to run under the couch.

Duo stared in horror at his chest where moments ago a medium sized brown/black cat had been crouching. He heard screams and realized they were coming from him. He closed his mouth and sat up just staring at the couch in a daze.

Hilde and Relena stood in the doorway shocked beyond comprehension, unable to make a sound.

Suddenly Duo felt rather dry and a little crinkly. Man, he sure could use someone to scratch his binding. Binding! What the…! He felt a little top heavy as he tried to look down at himself and ended up falling flat on his front cover.

Hilde began make inarticulate sounds and Relena was just dumbfounded still unable to make any sound at all much less move. It was all too much to take in at once.

They stood there for several moments until Hilde grabbed Relena's arm and shook her, recovering enough to form words.

"Relena wake up! We have to do something! My husband is a book!"

"Well, my boyfriend is a cat." Relena said in a dull monotone. She began to come around. "My boyfriend is a CAT!" She nearly screamed.

"I know! I know. We have to do something."

"But what?" Relena argued. "We don't know what happened."

"Look! Your bottle, the top is off! It's been opened!"

Relena followed Hilde's finger and sure enough, the bottled had been opened.

"You mean they drank from that bottle?" Relena moaned. "How stupid!"

"They were drunk remember?"

"Oh no! I was the one to leave it there…." Relena cried. "It's all my fault!"

"Forget whose fault it is for now, we have to figure out what to do."

"I hate to interrupt your little powwow" came a muffled voice "but could someone lend me a hand here?"

"Duo…Is that you?" Hilde ran over to the thick book laying face down on the carpet and picked it up gingerly by the sides. She held it in her hands in front of herself and looked at it. She couldn't believe it. Relena walked over to stare over her shoulder. The book had a distinctly chestnut color and the slight indentation and shape of a very familiar face. Spindly arms stuck out impossibly from the sides and skinny little legs dangled from the bottom of it.

"Hey, quit staring!" The face in the cover said. "I don't have any clothes on and if I blush any harder I might catch fire!"

"Oh my…" Hilde blinked. "It IS you…"

"Yes it's me, Duo Maxwell your intrepid husband. I'm just a little…flatter, that's all."

"I need to find Heero." Relena was having a hard time coping with the whole situation and if Duo was really a book then her poor Heero was a cat and probably was a little wild if she knew him. She hoped she could catch him. She had the presence of mind to close up the bottle and put it out of reach along with the wine bottle before moving the coffee table to get on her hands and knees to look under the couch. It was so dark under there she couldn't see a thing.

"Hilde, do you have a flashlight?"

"Uh…sure, hold on." Hilde stared at the book in her hands a second longer then set it/him down and retrieved the item.

"Thanks." Relena shined it under the couch and saw the flash of cobalt blue eyes and knew instantly that it was Heero and that he was one hundred percent feline. She made a small sound and swallowed hard.

"Heero…Heero can you hear me?" She tried not to shine the light in his eyes, because she knew cats hated that. "Come here, you don't want to stay under there it's nasty, all dusty and dank."

"Hey!" Objected Hilde.

"Sorry." She looked back under the couch. He still hadn't moved. 'What was she going to do? How was she going to get him out from under the couch?'

"Hilde, have we got any tuna?"

"What?"

"Tuna!" Duo/book repeated. "It might lure him out."

"Oh…I'll be right back." Soon she was back with a bit of tuna on a small dish. She handed it to Relena who accepted it without saying anything and set it a few inches from the couch. She then climbed onto the couch directly behind where the tuna was and waited. One minute went by, then two. Five minutes passed before they saw a black nose sticking out from under the couch and soon a head and body followed and proceeded to creep up on the dish and begin to delicately nibble at the tuna. Relena moved ever-so-slowly and reached down and grabbed him by the nape of his neck and followed that up quickly by latching onto his hind legs. He let out a yowl and fought as hard as he could but was hindered by the paralyzing affects of the hold on the skin of the back of his neck. Relena held on tight and let him fight her until he slowly began to relax and then finally quit moving altogether. She sat back on the couch and set him next to her, still holding him tightly.

"Wow," Duo/book exclaimed. "Heero makes one heck of a scrappy cat."

The relaxed cat she was holding tensed up again and she heard Heero/cat's voice say: "and you make one ugly book. Where's a paper shredder when you need one?"

"Heero?" Relena looked down at him.

"Relena…you can let go of me now. I'm ok." She frowned then slowly released him. "Besides I want the rest of that tuna."

Relena almost smiled as he hopped down from the couch and cleaned the plate in record time. She took a good look at him as he ate. He was a shorthaired cat, but he had a little extra hair on his head that looked almost like his hair when he was human. It was, however, his eyes that betrayed who he was. They were even more striking as the eyes of a cat then they had been on him in his natural form. Relena almost sighed when he looked up at her from his finished snack.

"Well what a fine mess we find ourselves in." Duo/book said with a sour tone of voice.

"Indeed" agreed Heero/cat, "thanks to YOU."

"Oh go hack up a hairball. How was I supposed to know it was cursed? You didn't exactly tell me I had grabbed the wrong bottle you know!"

"I was DRUNK ok? Now, I'm gonna use you for a scratching post if you don't shut up and help us figure out how to reverse this thing!" Heero/cat threatened.

"Whatever."

"Hey, Duo, you're a book right? So maybe you have a clue to what's going on here! "Exclaimed Hilde. She picked him up and laid him on the coffee table and was about to open his cover when he screeched: "don't even think about it! You're not gonna open me up and read me like a…." His voice trailed off.

"Like a book?" Hilde asked grinning.

"Eh…exactly" Duo/book replied weakly.

"Yes I am." And she did just that. She opened to the title page and spluttered and clapped her hand over her mouth and slammed the cover shut.

"Ouch!" Duo/book cried, "don't do that, that hurt!"

"Well?" Heero/cat and Relena were looking at her expectantly.

"He…he…the title…" Hilde took a deep breath. "The Love Encyclopedia."

"What!" Relena yelled. Heero/cat moaned as if in pain.

"Oh no. Ooooh nooo…"

"What's wrong?" Relena asked trying not to laugh.

Heero/cat told them what had happened in the flea market and what they each had said. "I didn't believe him before, but now I guess I have to. He really IS a love encyclopedia now." He snorted a little, and found that he couldn't keep his mirth in control and soon they were all laughing like there was no tomorrow.

After they had recovered sufficiently to think sentient thoughts again Duo/book began razzing Heero/cat about all the things he knew now.

"Yeah, well I'd like to see you try and use all those steamy little tidbits you've suddenly gained."

Duo/book looked blank for a second, then what Heero/cat had said sunk in like a rock sinking in a pond. The look on his face was priceless. He'd just realized what he could…and COULDN'T do. Hilde looked like she was going to explode with laughter and a little consternation. It couldn't get any worse so they'd just deal with it as it came until they figured out what to do about it…right? Right. She wished she felt a little more confident about it.


	4. The Problem

**A/N: I realize that it has been a very, VERY long time since I updated this story. I haven't written in such a long time I just gave up on it. As a matter of fact this update is actually something I wrote back around the time the story was published here but never made the addition because I felt the chapter was too short. I am finally adding it here anyway, short or no, and I hope to try to pick the story up again. It may read and look different than it did many years ago in following chapters, but I will do my best. :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or anything associated with it. Dangit!  
**

It had been about an hour since the great change had happened and no one was any closer to figuring out what to do than they had been right after it happened. All they'd succeeded in doing had been to borrow a cat cage from the neighbors for Heero/cat so he didn't shred Duo/book into paper strips. Duo/book was just wishing he'd been a little pickier with what he had jokingly boasted about that fateful day when he'd urged Heero/cat to buy that blasted bottle. He could only hope that when they managed to somehow find a way to turn themselves back into humans that he would retain the knowledge he had right now, because he was almost just bursting with information that was currently useless to him. He moaned. "It's not fair" he muttered.

"Not fair..." Heero/cat glared at him balefully through the bars of the cage. "Not fair he says. I'm sporting fur and a tail, stuck in a cage and you're complaining about fairness?!" He growled quietly at the thought as the fur on his tail puffed up slightly.

"Now Heero, calm down, we're all in this together. Four heads are better than one right?" Asked Relena as she looked around at everyone.

"You might want to make that 3 heads." Added Hilde. "That book over there is no help at all."

"I resent that! I'm the best book of love in the world!"

"We could use a little love right now; this room seems to be a bit on the cold side." Relena pointed out, glaring at Heero/cat.

"Don't look at me, he started it." Heero/cat quickly replied.

"I thought cats were supposed to be sophisticated" Duo/book smirked. "You sound more like a scruffy kitten."

Heero/cat launched himself at the bars of the cage in abstract rage, hissing and growling and rattling the bars gripped tightly with his sharp clawed paws.

Relena stood up and stormed over to Heero/cat's cage, giving it a hard shake and knocking him off his feet. "YOU!" She yelled. "Calm down!" She whirled around to glare hard at Duo/book. "As for you, CAN IT! I don't want to hear another word from you unless it's completely useful and relative to the situation. GOT IT?!" She aimed her glare towards Heero/cat as well. "You two will just have to get along until we get this figured out or I swear I'll send you to the pound Heero, and Duo, I'm pretty sure there's a recycling plant somewhere near here!" Hilde nodded emphatically. "Couldn't have said it better myself."

If it's possible for a book to look apologetic, Duo/book managed it. He looked over at Heero/cat, who was currently hunched on the floor of the cage swishing his tail in agitation with his ears half flattened to his head. He sighed. "Hey I'm sorry pal. I'm just having a hard time controlling myself here. I'll try a lot harder I promise."

Heero/cat stared fixedly at an invisible point on the wall for a little while saying nothing at all. The women thought it best they kept their mouths shut right then so both moved quietly into the kitchen. Suddenly he spoke. "No more mocking me. Harmless occasional teasing is one thing, but you've taken it too far."

"You're right..." Duo/book looked down at the table on which he sat. "We're in this together, you're my best friend and I've been pretty rough on you. I'm sorry." He looked up at Heero/cat in hopes to catch his eye to assure him he was sincere. "No more mocking, but I can't ever promise that I won't occasionally tease...it's my nature...you've known that from the very beginning."

"I know, that's why I said what I did. I can tell the difference." He stood up and stretched in a decidedly feline fashion and Duo/book bit his papery tongue before another tease slipped out and managed to find a way to wiggle off the table without doing himself bodily harm and tottered (he was still unused to balancing himself in his new form) over to the cage where Heero/cat was and fiddled with the latch until he managed to unhitch it, backing up slowly while he opened the door. Heero/cat walked calmly out as if he didn't care whether he got out or not, but in real life he was greatly relieved. The cage had been a very ...trying experience.

Heero/cat sauntered over to the couch and hopped up onto it, settling himself comfortably on one of the cushions. Duo/book made his unstable way back across the room over to where Heero/cat was and tried unsuccessfully to heave himself onto the couch next to his feline friend. After struggling for what seemed like an eternity he looked exasperatedly at the cat that seemed completely unconcerned about the whole proceedings.

"A little help here please!" Duo/book asked, by then slightly desperate.

"How do you expect me to help you?" Heero/cat asked, cocking his head to the side and staring at Duo/book with a jaundiced eye.

"I don't know!" Duo/book exclaimed, "just do something! Please! I don't want to sit on the floor..."

Heero/cat finally felt a little pity for him and hopped off the couch and walked up beside Duo/book and half crouched, half sat on his hind legs, cupping his paws together. "Here" he said. "Use my paws as a step and I'll hoist you up onto the couch.

"Thanks pal, I knew you'd come through for me!"

"Don't thank me yet." Heero/cat mumbled as Duo/book stepped gingerly into his cupped paws, keeping a hold onto the couch cushions. As soon as he had most of his weight on that small foot Heero/cat gave a strong heave and Duo/book sailed through the air, his back hitting the back cushion of the couch and dropping to land face down on a seat cushion with an "umph!" as the 'air' was nearly knocked completely out of him. He slowly raised himself up gasping for air and situated himself in a sitting position. "You didn't have to toss me like a volley ball you know." He looked sideways at Heero/cat who had already jumped back onto the couch and was again settling down comfortably.

"Guess I don't know my own strength" answered Heero/cat with a slight lifting of his feline shoulders in the simulation of a shrug.

"Yeah, that's it for sure."

They sat side by side for several minutes neither saying a word, each lost in his respective thoughts. It seemed that this was going to be harder than they thought.


	5. The Vendor

**A/N: I can't believe I'm actually writing after...I think about 8 years! This chapter starts where I last left it off, then continues with my latest offerings. I apologize for any whiplash sustained from possible difference in writing style. It's been a LONG time. Please review if possible, I'd love some feedback, and possibly some inspiration since I have no idea where to go with the story right now. I do not have a beta so apologies for any mistakes along the way.**

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing isn't mine. Boohoo.**  
**

The two women made themselves comfortable at the kitchen table and simply stared back at one another unable to fully comprehend what had just transpired.

Relena was the first to speak. "We have to do something."

Hilde's face shifted into a slight smile. "Thanks for stating the obvious."

Relena frowned slightly then her face smoothed and she smiled as well. "Well someone had to I suppose."

"I suppose." Hilde sighed. "How can this sort of thing happen anyway? This is the kind of thing that happens in books and fairy tales, not in real life!"

Relena shook her head. "Who knows how or why something happens? I think it's enough for us right now that it HAS happened and we just need to concentrate on dealing with it as best we can."

"I don't know...maybe if we knew how or why it happened then we just might be able to reverse it."

"Ok you have a point there." Relena frowned slightly then leaned back and sighed. "I can tell this is going to be a long process. Why can't normal things ever happen to us anyway?"

"Oh because that would be cosmically much too easy."

"Hey!" Both women jumped at the sound of Duo/book's voice suddenly piercing the silence. They hurried into the living room to see what it was all about to find that Duo/book was already explaining the reason for his outburst to Heero/cat "...place where you got the bottle from, that dealer, maybe he'll know something!"

"You know," said Heero/cat, "that's the first good idea I've heard all day."

"What? Are you giving me a compliment?"

"Never, just stating a fact."

"Figures."

"Never mind that!" Hilde said in exasperation. "That IS a good idea and we need to act on it as soon as we can."

"I agree" added Relena before Duo/book could say anything else.

"Only one slight problem I can see here."

Duo/book mock glared at Heero/cat. "I thought you liked my idea."

"I do like your idea. However that particular flea market doesn't open again until next weekend."

"Oh." Duo frowned. "Hey wait a minute, how did you know that anyway?"

Heero just looked smug as only a cat can. "Even as an ex-soldier it is my duty to always be updated on current information that might be useful at a later date."

"Never mind" Duo shook his head. Rather, he attempted to that is. The action shook his whole body and made him fall on his back cover due to the fact that he'd jumped to his feet in his excitement. He groaned. "As I was saying, I really think I just don't want to know."

The others tried their best to keep from laughing and Hilde helped her unsteady husband to right himself as he blushed a leathery, brick red.

It was a long week; a week that each of the four wished would fly by, yet crawled by with agonizing slowness. It was not without its higher points; one being when Duo/book realized he didn't have the need or ability to eat, and Heero/cat gleefully downing salmon in front of him with superb relish. Another being the first time Heero/cat attempted to use the toilet (because no one had thought to get him a litter box at first), and promptly fell in with a shriek that only frantic feline vocal chords can produce! Despite his superb strength, agility, and human mind, poor Heero/cat was unable to extract himself from the (albeit, thankfully clean) half full toilet bowl. His rescuer was not long in coming to his aid, and though Relena tried her very level best to keep a straight face when she realized what happened, she couldn't help letting out a quick, explosive snort of laughter, receiving a rather damp growl for her efforts. After Heero/cat was fished out, bathed, dried and warm again, it took him two days to make a sound, other than a malevolent growl, when Relena came near. Duo and Hilde had no idea why Heero/cat was acting so aggresively, but Relena knew better than to explain. The majority of the week however, was uneventful, and long though it may have seemed, Saturday morning finally arrived exactly when it should have done.

Having learned that the flea market opened bright and early at 7am, the four friends arrived 30 minutes early, hoping to get in and catch the vendor before too many people were around. After parking relatively far away in a nice remote area, Relena opted to go find the vendor and speak to him, while Hilde agreed to stay in the car with their unfortunate men folk. Relena managed to slip between some vehicles and sauntered down the rows of vendors still doing last minute setting up, hoping she would recognize the particular vendor she sought. She almost walked by him in the early dawn's soft light, but slow recognition brought her to a halt and she spun on her heel and charged over to his stall. The poor man jumped backwards with a gasp and she stopped abruptly with a quick apology.

"I know you!" He exclaimed. "You're the girl who liked that bottle last weekend. Beautiful isn't it? Your boyfriend DID give it to you, right?"

"Oh he gave it to me all right." She said wryly. "That's why I'm here."

"I'm afraid I don't understand…" Replied the confused man as he resumed his market opening preparations.

"I hope you're lying." Relena said quietly as she moved as closely to the stall as she was able, and leaned over a bit so she didn't have to raise her voice. "Because of that bottle a couple really horrible and as far as we know, non-reversible things have happened to people I love, and you better have an explanation or know someone who does, because if you don't…" She let the words hang ominously in the air as she glared at the man, who, once she had begun to speak stopped moving altogether.

He cleared his throat nervously and avoided her gaze to look down at the ground as if it were suddenly the most interesting thing at the moment.

"I'm waiting." Her tone implying he did not do well to keep her as such.

The now quite nervous and jittery vendor cleared his throat again. "I..ah..ahem, that is, what kind of, ah, non-reversible things?"

Relena finally caught his eye and glared stonily at him. "I'm not telling you a thing until you explain to me what you know about that bottle you sold my boyfriend! Better yet," she had a sudden thought, "you can come with me and tell all of us exactly what it is you know."

He shook his head suddenly. "I can't leave my stall unoccupied! That's like begging to be robbed! I have money invested in these items!" He argued, "I can't just walk away."

"Maybe you should have thought of that before you sold a bottle with a dangerous substance in it to unsuspecting customers." She snapped. "I don't ca…" She was interrupted by an audible gasp. "You can't mean someone actually ingested" (he emphasized the latter syllable of the word as if to create more weight for it) "the contents of that bottle?!" The man was shaking his head "Oh this is bad, very bad."

"You think?!" Relena was about to jump over the table of the stall and strangle the imbecile when the man threw up his hands as if to protect himself. "Please! I..I'll go with you. I have a…friend who can watch my stall." He waved to someone across from him, "hey Jer, mind watching my stall for a few?" he called out. "Sure thing man, I'll keep an eye on it." He gave his friend a thumbs-up and walked around the back of the stall to join Relena as she waited. Together they walked quickly back to Relena's car where Hilde and their men waited not-so-patiently.

Hilde saw them coming and told Heero/cat and Duo/book to keep a lid on it and climbed nonchalantly out of the car and stood to meet them.

"Hilde this is the vendor Heero bought the bottle from." She looked at the man and blinked, "I'm sorry, I didn't get your name." He shuffled his feet a bit and replied that his name was Tom. "Well then, Hilde, meet Tom, Tom, my best friend Hilde." The man nodded and Hilde expressed a greeting.

"Ok now that that's out of the way, what do you know about the bottle and its contents?"

The man seemed to wilt the moment she mentioned the bottle again. He heaved a sigh.

"The stories tell that there is some kind of curse associated with that bottle's contents." He said finally. "No one knows exactly how old it is; only that it is thought to have been created by gypsies. I never really believed the stories, or the warnings about gypsy curses, I have a living to make you know?" He looked at Hilde imploringly and found no more sympathy in her hard gaze than he had seen in Relena's. He looked away.

"So, what exactly DO the stories say about the bottle's contents?" Hilde said finally, breaking the lengthening silence.

"Well…" He hesitated, glancing at her. "They do say that if one happens to ingest the cursed liquid inside, strange things happen to that person." His eyes flicked to Relena's and then back to Hilde's.

"Strange things, huh? Just how strange are we talking about?" Relena questioned.

"Strange enough that they are things that shouldn't normally be able to happen." He sighed. "If you must know, people have been known to disappear after partaking of the bottle's contents. Some have been…" he hesitated "changed."

"Did they ever change back to normal?" Hilde questioned, almost too quickly.

The man looked away. "No." He said quietly. "I have never heard a story in which could have been found a 'happy ending'. The stories imply that Gypsy curses are by their very nature malevolent, and usually do not come with an equal counterpart de-curse."

Relena and Hilde both stood silently, trying to accept what they were hearing, and neither able to entirely comprehend the current status quo remaining permanent. Their eyes caught and skittered away, each unwilling to hold the other's gaze.

"Are you sure?" There was a slight tremor in Relena's voice and she hated herself for it.

Tom felt a bit of pity for the girl, as roughly as he felt she'd treated him he was sure something terrible must have happened to someone she knew and he had no clue how to help. "I'm sorry." His tone was sincere. "I would truly help you if I could."

"Do you know anyone who might know anything more?" Hilde wasn't about to just give up, just like that. There HAD to be someone who knew more about it!

A shadow seemed to cross his face for a moment. "There is…someone. I have only heard talk, legends if you will, but she is, from what I've heard, a very powerful, very old and very dangerous woman." He frowned. "She is a gypsy. Not one of these, fly-by-night, wannabe gypsies, but a real living gypsy of the old world."

"Where can we find her?"

There was a moment of silence. "The tales say you don't merely find Madam Vadoma; she will summon you if she desires your audience."

"Then how exactly DO we get an audience with this freaky old hag anyway?" All three of them jumped and three pairs of eyes stared at one love encyclopedia leaning half in, and half out of the car's window that he had lowered sometime in the middle of their conversation.

Tom choked and spluttered and coughed, whacking his chest with a trembling hand and trying to tell himself that he was certainly NOT seeing a large, talking book with impossibly thin arms. Hilde and Relena chose that moment to un-freeze.

"DUO!" They shouted in unison, and he jumped, losing his balance and falling back into the car and off the seat down to the floor, once again on his face. He thumped his tiny fists on the carpet and began the slow process of righting himself, muttering all the while about 'women'.

Relena immediately glanced around to see if anyone had heard their outburst, but luckily no one was visible nearby. Hilde apologized to Tom. "Sorry about that. I guess the cat's out of the bag so to speak." She muttered wryly.

"No" came a smaller but distinctly male voice "NOW the cat is out of the bag."

Once again all three heads snapped to the door of the car, this time to see Heero/cat standing on the seat, paws on the door next to the door lock, looking positively pleased with himself as only a cat can.

Relena made a strangled, gurgling sound, opening and closing her mouth as if she'd been a fish pulled out of water. Hilde's breath whooshed out of her and her eyes flew to the heavens in some sort of silent plea for this nightmare to please, _please_, be over.

The poor flea market vendor just stood there, blinking, telling himself that he wasn't looking at a talking cat. No…of course not, wasn't possible. Stories were one thing, this, this was something else altogether.

Duo/book chose this moment to pop his flat head back over the door having finally managed to climb back up.

"Ok, I understand why he's so shocked, but what's wrong with you two?" The tension was almost palpable. The very air seemed to thicken and darken with the weight of female wrath. "Duo." Heero/cat said matter-of-factly. "You, are an idiot. Incidentally, so am I. That's what's wrong with them."

"How do you figure?" Duo/book was feeling a bit confused. "I know you're an idiot, but that doesn't make me one by association!" He grinned.

Heero/cat slanted his eyes at the love encyclopedia. "Ok genius; tell me the one thing Relena and Hilde told us NOT to do when Relena went to find the vendor?" Duo/book blinked, and then his flat leather lips formed a small O and he looked up first at Hilde, then Relena in apology. "Sorry, I sorta forgot what you said about staying hidden. I just got excited and…" His voice trailed off uncertainly. "Sorry Relena" Heero/cat apologized simply. "It was an accident."

Relena finally had a hold of herself and she let her breath hiss through her teeth. "You..you..oooh!" She said angrily, as if she had no other words to express herself at that exact moment, clenching her fists and glaring at the two offenders in absolute frustration and irritation. She gathered herself finally and squared her shoulders, her head high. "You two are worse than a couple of children! How hard is it to keep quiet and hidden? I mean really?! Do you have any idea what kind of trouble you may have caused us?" Her voice had begun to get louder and she realized it. Lowering her voice she began again. "This is a public place you numbskulls!" She hissed quietly. "Did you stop to think what might happen if the authorities were to see you? What if Tom here decides to rat us out? What do you think they'd do to us, not to mention to the two of you if they got ahold of you huh? Did you think of that, smart guys?" She took a deep breath and looked over at the man she had mentioned. Tom still looked rather shell-shocked, but by this time it seemed more like slight amusement. He didn't give the offender's time to answer.

"I can understand your predicament, and certainly your wish for secrecy. I definitely understand your interest in finding Madam Vadoma." The corners of his mouth kept trying to stretch upwards into a smile but the man managed to control them admirably.

Hilde looked as if she were grinding her teeth for a moment before saying "well this certainly wasn't how we had planned to do this, but since the..." she checked herself. "Since the beans have been spilled it appears we have no choice but to trust you." She turned to completely face the poor vendor, planted her hands on her hips and leaned forwards slightly in an intimidating gesture. "If you even THINK about ratting us out; I will hunt you down like a dog! There is nowhere in this world that you can hide. Remember that!"

Duo/book's eyebrows (such as they were) raised a little at the concentrated venom in his wife's tone. He wasn't the only one. Relena was looking at her slightly askance, and Heero/cat had also raised a feline brow, if such were possible.

Tom had taken a step back in the face of Hilde's undisguised threat, and he cleared his throat nervously as he had done when Relena had first pressured him in his stall not so very long ago. Only this time, he was well and truly spooked. He was no snitch, he hadn't lived this long by being so, and somehow he had to make sure these people knew that. He had a feeling they could make good on whatever promises they made. "I..I..ahem" he stuttered and cleared his throat again "I will not betray your confidence." He finished, breathing a sigh of relief, as if speaking had suddenly become quite difficult.

"You better not!" This time it was Relena who spoke. The man hastened to assure them that he would keep their secret and agreed to assist them in any way he could. "Well yeah, seeing as how it's YOUR fault I'm a flipping book right now and all, you darn right better help!" Duo/book added sourly.

"SHUT UP!" It was like being shushed in stereo. Relena and Hilde glared equally angrily at Duo/book and he quietly slid down the car door to lean back against the seat in consternation. Heero/cat flattened his ears and slunk off the car door himself and crouched down on the seat next to him. They exchanged a look that seemed to say "we know when we're licked" and they individually resolved to keep silent; it appeared to be safer that way.

Relena asked the man for his phone number and threatened him with the wrath of all the women wronged by men in the world if he gave her the wrong number. Hilde produced a piece of paper and pen and he hastened to write his name and phone number on it. "That's my real name and number I promise." He assured them. "It had better be, or else!" Hilde said emphatically, not wanting to be left out.

"Ah, well it's been…interesting, but I really need to get back to my stall. Jerry must be getting a little frantic trying to manage both of ours." He was proud of himself for his calm delivery of that statement considering the things he'd just seen.

"Of course." Relena nodded her head. "Thank you for your information and cooperation Tom. We will be in touch for more details."

He laughed nervously, "sure thing" he answered as he strode away, hoping to put as much distance between he, and them, as quickly as possible.

"Let's get out of here, I, for one, have seen enough of this place." Relena stated, and they piled into the car and drove away, each quietly wondering how the next step of their journey would present itself.


	6. The Call

**A/N: Sorry folks, I've rather run out of ideas as to how this story should continue. I'm going to attempt to bumble around in the dark and figure it out, but if anyone has any ideas I wouldn't say no! :)**

As usual, I don't own Gundam Wing. Blast.

The next step of the journey was taking its sweet time. Being a natural-born leader, it was Relena who, a couple of nights later, called the number Tom had given them. She was only a little apprehensive that it might be the wrong number, but instantly recognized the flea market vendor's voice as he answered the phone.

"Ah, hello Tom, this is Relena." She hoped he wouldn't hang up.

"Oh..ahem" he faltered for a moment. "Of course, how can I help you?"

"Have you found out any information about how to contact Madam Vadoma?"

The man sighed and frowned. "Are you sure you wish to pursue this? The madam is a dangerous woman and..."

"Yes, yes, I know." Interrupted Relena, "but we really have no choice, you must understand that?!"

Tom nodded; then realized of course she was unable to see him, having not used the video phone feature for the call. "Yes, I understand. I just felt I had to warn you once again." He cleared his throat. "This information need go nowhere but to the four of you involved."

"Of course." Relena answered in a business-like tone. "You have my word."

"As you probably recall, a few days ago I told you that the stories I've heard, tell you do not seek out the madam, she will seek you." Relena gave an encouraging "mhmm…" and he continued. "I did some research on the subject and found them to all agree. After that, I spoke with a few people I know, after that I was a bit more confused. All but one agreed with my research; that person not being the most…" he hesitated "…reliable source in existence."

Relena was becoming impatient. "Get to the point, please." She clenched her jaw in irritation.

"I'm sorry." He offered. "To put it right out there, he told me there was one way to actually summon a, well, I suppose you could call it an illusion of the madam." He finished uncomfortably.

"An illusion?" She was confused. "How would an illusion help us contact her?"

"Well, it seems I said that wrong. More like a hologram perhaps." He was not one hundred percent sure himself exactly what the man had meant. He was trying to do his best to explain it.

"My question still stands, how can a hologram or illusion help us in any way? " She thought for a moment. "Unless it can actually be a means of communication, like a video telephone?"

"Yes!" Exclaimed Tom, "that is exactly what I was meaning to portray. According to the man I talked to it would work pretty much just like that." He frowned, but realizing she couldn't see him he shook his head. She was already asking him, well, more like demanding that he tell her how this was possible. He sighed. "It's not without its own risks. That form of communication is inherently dangerous, mostly because of exactly who powers the ability. That is what I was told."

Relena was not nearly as worried as he believed she should have been. "Well if that's all, then out with it! Tell me how we summon this hologram! I want my boyfriend back!"

Tom coughed. "Naturally…"

She sighed. "I'm sorry, that was out of line on my part. I've just had a really rough week and a half."

"Understandable. I just hope in doing this something doesn't end up worse than before." That was what he was afraid of most; especially considering the large part he played in the whole thing.

"Ok. Here is what you need to do."

Relena listened carefully, jotting things down on her notepad. When he had finished explaining to her everything he knew, she thanked him and they hung up. Her legs felt leaden as she walked over to a chair and dropped into it heavily. She leaned her head back and closed her eyes. How had this gotten so far? It seemed so long ago she was desperately hoping that Heero would ask her out; now, she just wanted him to be human again. Not to mention it was downright uncomfortable to have your boyfriend live at your house because he had been turned into a cat. It was hard enough having him around that way, not to mention cleaning his litter box. THAT was something she tried very, very, very hard not to think about. Their relationship had changed dramatically in the short time he had sprouted fur and a tail. She snorted derisively. Yeah right, she thought. It hadn't changed, it had all but disappeared. Sure he could still talk and all, but it wasn't the same.

This was a nightmare, one she desperately wished she could wake up from.

**Sorry this chapter is so short, I am short on inspiration. I hope it will hold y'all until I can keep it going! I have a vague idea of how to continue so I'll be working on it.**

**Please review! I really could use some feedback to see if anyone is even interested in my continuing this story. Thanks!**


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